So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
