$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So many bounce houses so little time
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
