she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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