it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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