Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize