hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
