So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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