Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
