Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
