What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
