AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
