So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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