im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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