She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
