My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
