I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize