I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
