You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
