I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
