butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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