no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
