He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
