I want to stick my p in your. b.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
