found the other keg... it's in the tree
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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