i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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