haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
