did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
