"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
