So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize