thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
where am i from again
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize