Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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