I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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