he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
