Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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