is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
