JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
