Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize