those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
