And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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