the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
