just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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