What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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