Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
