his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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