Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
