I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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