nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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