Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
