Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
