I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
