Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
