When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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