there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
