We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
