I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
