that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
