This girl is more easily done than said...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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