I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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