Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
