I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
