Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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