suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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